Thursday, July 14, 2011

Caught with my pants down

Yesterday my husband and I took our daughter to her one year doctor's appointment. I really love her doctor and I enjoy learning how she is doing from an outsider's point of view. My husband was updating paperwork as I took Baby J to get weighed and measured. 

Baby J was hesitant to stay on the scale without holding on to me; she's just recently become super clingy in strange places and around people she doesn't know. It took a bit of maneuvering to get her weight, but lying her down to measure her height was easy. Go figure. For those curious: she's in the 80th percentile for height and in the 50th for weight-she doesn't get either of those stats from me.

As I pick Baby J up and carry her back to the private room, something terrible and horrifying happens to me. My shorts fall off. No, I am not kidding. They just fell straight to the floor. I couldn't believe it. First, we are still in the hallway, and the door to the lobby is wide open. My bare buns are hanging out because *TMI alert* I'm wearing a thong which is my usual undergarment. As I realize what has happened, I shimmy to the room (luckily it's the first one so I didn't have to go too far) and put my bare buns to the wall. I tried to pull them up as inconspicuously as possible as I backed into the examination room. It was not easy with Baby J in my arms and while trying not to bend over and expose more of my nakedness. The poor nurse-she was probably just as horrified, but laughed with me during this horribly embarrassing moment. 

Now, you might wonder, "Bridget, why would your pants just fall off?" Well, here comes the cheapo side of me. I have lost a good deal of weight since two summers ago. Last summer I was a very pregnant woman who only wore her husband's basketball shorts which fit on her big belly around the house and just nice cotton undies after baby arrived. I didn't go out much last summer. Even though I lost a ton after Baby J arrived, nothing really fit right, so I was super excited to have clothes that I could put on and not see a muffin top over the edge after getting them zipped. Actually, most of my shorts I'm able to pull up without unzipping at all now. I like it that way. I'm not lazy, but it makes me feel better. 

Anyway, I knew this particular pair was big, but not 'fall off my butt in the middle of the doctor's office' big. I know I need to buy some new shorts, but I need to lose more weight and I don't want to buy a pair I can only wear for a short time. (Not that I'm having any luck losing the weight as my obsession with chocolate and sweet treats has overcome this need.) I am just super cheap. After my husband got a good laugh, he said we should go shopping afterwards. Score! 

Did I buy the shorts I tried on? No. They weren't even on sale.

Not the best picture of me, but here I am two weeks before this event occurred in my baggy shorts.


  1. I literally have tears running down my face!! So funny, and I totally understand. A similar experience happened to me while pregnant and wearing on of those "belly band" things that apparently didn't want to work. I was loading groceries onto the cart in WalMart and my pants dropped down... I refused to check for a while infer that I would see myself, lol.

  2. Glad I could give you something to laugh at! I love that site when I'm feeling bad-it makes me laugh so hard. You want to tap some of those people on the shoulder and say, "Really???"

    Thanks for reading!